Creativity + Indulgence

Fighting the need to be “productive”

I had an unexpected insight last night. Something I didn’t realise was still lingering under all the work I’ve done around my mindset.

Apparently, somewhere deep in my brain, I still think I’m being self-indulgent by pursuing my creativity. That because it’s not providing financially for my family (yet!) it’s somehow un-productive and selfish.

Well…damn.

The productivity problem

As a society we’re praised for being productive. We’re trained to be good little worker bees. As a recovering people pleaser, over-achiever and perfectionist…this programming runs especially deep!

Praising productivity puts such heavy focus on the end product. It rewards quantity over quality. It certainly doesn’t encourage experimentation or play.

I realised all of this has been a big blocker for me picking up a sketching and journaling habit. Because these things didn’t necessarily produce shareable or saleable work, I was judging them as ‘unproductive’, and therefore a waste of time…yikes.

I’m looking forward to reconnecting with the joy of just making without needing to produce something. I’m going to make time daily to sketch and journal. I think creating a safe space for myself to experiment and play will really help me grow as an illustrator and writer.

What’s wrong with indulgence anyway…

I think we sometimes misconstrue suffering with productivity and productivity with value. The more we suffer at work, the more stressed we are, the harder we must be working. And when you’re used to getting rewarded for being productive…it all gets linked.

Being creative brings me joy. It fills my cup, inspires and excites me. That’s not to say it’s easy, but it’s easy for me to choose to spend time on it. When you’re used to being rewarded for your suffering…this can feel indulgent.

But even if it is indulgent, what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with chasing the things that light us up?

Financial productivity

I remember really struggling with the idea of productivity when I became a stay at home mum. I wasn’t producing tangible “work”, I wasn’t getting pay rises or promotions…I wasn’t getting paid! I was getting spewed on, pooped on and cried at. As someone who relied on external praise and reward for their self worth, that’s quite the adjustment.

Right now I’m building up my creative practice whilst being a stay at home mum. I’m investing time and money, without seeing a significant financial return…yet. I don’t doubt that I will be able to contribute financially in time. But, even though being creative isn’t helping me provide financially for my family right now, it is helping me care for my family.

Creativity is my self care

I know that may sound naff, but my creative practice is honestly the thing that’s kept me sane whilst having kids.

Being a stay at home parent can be very isolating. But since I started writing and illustrating, I have connected with the most wonderful community of writers and illustrators and other creatives.

Being a parent involves a lot of giving - time, energy, space, my body. For me, creativity gives back. It restores.

So screw productivity. How is that not something worth celebrating and indulging in!?

I’d love to know…

What are your thoughts on creativity and productivity?

Won’t you stick around?

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